Things You Can Do To People When They're Not Looking
In today's modern society thing's have gotten pretty dull. Back in my uncle's day a kid could go down to a local general store, pick himself up a high powered rifle and a bag of gun powder and use the rifle to blow up the gun powder. Today you can't even say bomb at the airport without being thrown out the door.
To make life in the 21st centuary a little more interesting I've prepared a list of things you can do to people when they aren't looking. I've also include information on what these things will acomplish.
A Swift Kick to the Back of One's Head
Location: The beuty of this is you can pretty much do it anywhere, it is highly recommended though that you practice kicking first or your kick may end up unseccesful and you might as well be kicking yourself in the crotch.
What this acomplishes: Most people, for some God knows why reason, do not like being physically abused. They often desire revenge against the abuser and most often results a fight. Fights are rarely boring to watch unless it's between to obese people who can't actually hurt each other. Bear in mind that you will probably want to kick people who are either weaker then you, extremly over-confident (and weaker), or a foreigner (most of which are generally weak due to malnutrition) Note. When I say foreigner I mean the people who come from 3rd word countries. Don't go around kicking German's or Dutch or other countries where they are fed decent meals. France is ok though, kick french people. Their Snooty. If you have this strong desire to kick someone who is stronger then you make sure you have a patsy to blame it on.
Leaving a Crate of Lit Fireworks Next to Someone
Location: This, like the kicking, can be done anywhere how ever certain conditions improve results. This is best done on Chinese New Years because there are usually a lot of Chinese people out celebrating and most of them are shoot off fireworks so it's impossible to trace it back to you. Doing this on another day however will probably scare the victim more because they won't already be deaf from the other fireworks.
What this accomplishes: Load bangs and explosions at close range are statistically proven to cause discomfort. Also this is pretty comical to watch as all the fireworks start shooting out of the box randomly and generally run into everything within a 6 foot radius. If your lucky the fireworks won't shoot out randomly but instead all ignite a one creating a large fireball that is guaranteed to cause 3rd degree burns and engulf near by pedestrians in flames.
Releasing Gary Suter from the Local Zoo
Location: Unfortunatly unlike the privious two, this can only be done in area's where a Suter is nearby. On the plus side though, Suter is likely to cause more damage then a kick to the back of the head with a shoe made of fire works.
What this accomplishes: In general not a whole lot. You might earn the respect of Animal rights activists such as Peta and Alf but nobody really wants that. Thoses guys want to be ruled by animals so praise from them should actually be taken as insults. Below I have include a picture a member of Alf stealing some dogs. Most likely because he's an ass.
Wow. It's like Counter Strike and Nintendogs a rolled into one.
To make life in the 21st centuary a little more interesting I've prepared a list of things you can do to people when they aren't looking. I've also include information on what these things will acomplish.
A Swift Kick to the Back of One's Head
Location: The beuty of this is you can pretty much do it anywhere, it is highly recommended though that you practice kicking first or your kick may end up unseccesful and you might as well be kicking yourself in the crotch.
What this acomplishes: Most people, for some God knows why reason, do not like being physically abused. They often desire revenge against the abuser and most often results a fight. Fights are rarely boring to watch unless it's between to obese people who can't actually hurt each other. Bear in mind that you will probably want to kick people who are either weaker then you, extremly over-confident (and weaker), or a foreigner (most of which are generally weak due to malnutrition) Note. When I say foreigner I mean the people who come from 3rd word countries. Don't go around kicking German's or Dutch or other countries where they are fed decent meals. France is ok though, kick french people. Their Snooty. If you have this strong desire to kick someone who is stronger then you make sure you have a patsy to blame it on.
Leaving a Crate of Lit Fireworks Next to Someone
Location: This, like the kicking, can be done anywhere how ever certain conditions improve results. This is best done on Chinese New Years because there are usually a lot of Chinese people out celebrating and most of them are shoot off fireworks so it's impossible to trace it back to you. Doing this on another day however will probably scare the victim more because they won't already be deaf from the other fireworks.
What this accomplishes: Load bangs and explosions at close range are statistically proven to cause discomfort. Also this is pretty comical to watch as all the fireworks start shooting out of the box randomly and generally run into everything within a 6 foot radius. If your lucky the fireworks won't shoot out randomly but instead all ignite a one creating a large fireball that is guaranteed to cause 3rd degree burns and engulf near by pedestrians in flames.
Releasing Gary Suter from the Local Zoo
Location: Unfortunatly unlike the privious two, this can only be done in area's where a Suter is nearby. On the plus side though, Suter is likely to cause more damage then a kick to the back of the head with a shoe made of fire works.
What this accomplishes: In general not a whole lot. You might earn the respect of Animal rights activists such as Peta and Alf but nobody really wants that. Thoses guys want to be ruled by animals so praise from them should actually be taken as insults. Below I have include a picture a member of Alf stealing some dogs. Most likely because he's an ass.
Wow. It's like Counter Strike and Nintendogs a rolled into one.
posted by Dr Mr Captn at
2:58 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home